Uncovering My Authentic Self: Step One Discard the Grandma Kickers

It’s the 10 year anniversary of the worst Pig Pen moment, to date. I didn’t know if I would ever reveal this to the blogosphere, but it feels imperative to emphasize the message of this public service announcement.

It was a lovely day for a wedding in the Outer Banks, October 2005. The reception was in full swing and the dance circle had formed. Time to kick up my solid gold dance moves. Literally.


When I was mid flip, one of the elderly guest walked right into my stiletto heel. Horrific whirlwind of blood, police, ambulances – all to take care of the nicest 80-something year-old woman… who happened to be the Grandmother of the bride. Thankfully, she was OK.

End scene.

I did love those black, strappy high heels and kept them in my closet for the ‘what-if’ day I needed them to complete an outfit. The sight of them would trigger the thought of the DNA of an old woman on my shoe – clearly not good for the soul.

Life has changed significantly since then and in general, I am navigating this solo path pretty damn well. I have realized the things I do well and the areas where I am going to sleep a lot better if I bring in the pros. This now includes an accountant, financial advisor, personal trainer, handy man and now a personal stylist.

Meet Suzie Gaffney. The Chester County fashionista, media maven, super Mom, fellow blogger and no matter if out on the Square, at her kid’ sporting events, church or TJMaxx, she is always wearing the outfits that you think, “how the hell did she put that together?” Is it because she has naturally straight hair that she always looks polished? Nope.

suzie g

I have highlighted her achievements in a previous blog http://tinyurl.com/m97poxf and now it was time for me to schedule my own appointment. I was ready.

First thought – nervous. I vacuumed. I haven’t had someone look through my closet since freshman year of college when a senior asked to borrow something for her modeling gig. Totally flattered I remember thinking, holy shit – help yourself. She picked my favorite Espirit dress, pictured below.  New Year’s Eve in DC 1991. (Fashion note: cut out hanger straps.)


When I asked for it back she denied ever borrowing it. WTF. I found almost the same dress last year at Nordstroms. Need a reason to wear this gem.

Second thought – uncertainty. Is this really going to make a difference? I got all Zipppy about fall fashion two years ago https://alisonguzzio.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/all-zippy-about-fall-fashion/  (Five second recap: eliminated the urge to splurge and pointless purchases, bought a few closet organizers and kept my zippers closed as not to reveal private parts – a Pig Pen moment that scarred a handful of people in a Malvern corporate center winter, 1994.)

back split pants

Third thought – have fun. Poured a Deep Eddy’s vodka and Fresca and we dove into this bitch.


What I like best is Suzie’s honesty. I am over the passive aggressive, fake and just plain bullshit communication that only leads to more problems. Speak your mind. I hired her to uncover a closet of clothes and accessories that work for me. What she wants to ensure is you feel like a million bucks no matter if you are heading to Walmart or the Ritz Carlton. Express your authentic self through your wardrobe.

Excited with the outcome, here are a few tips I am happy to share:

  1. Closet renovation: Consider maximizing floor to ceiling space in the large closet, adding fun and brighter lighter, and a place for accessories. If local to KSQ, Dan Kelly – emerald enterprises – http://emeraldenterprises.net/index.html Please tell him Suzie referred you!  Ideas: use a towel rack for scarves, install shelving for a shoe closet and for handbags in other closets, fold workout clothes on space closet shelf or in a bin to be placed on shelf (use the vertical file method), consider pajamas to be placed in a storage bench at foot of bed.


  1. My authentic self: I am a sleek, strong, poised and happy person. Suzie is here to help personify that through my outfits and what does not deliver that message are: ruffles, cap sleeves, banded short sleeves, neckline pleats and scoop necks. These are the problem pieces along with the black stilettos. Words of wisdom: discard! You just don’t need that kind of negativity in your life!!
  1. Shopping list: Black ankle boots and the fall must have accessory, longer pendent style necklace.
  1. Style inspiration: Frayed ankle cut denim with heels. I sported this last Friday and love it!


Call Suzie or a wardrobe consultant in your area and make your closet a true extension of your life: http://suziegaffney.com/


About alisonguzzio

A marketing and public relations veteran, Alison Guzzio has directed projects for a range of high-tech, pharmaceutical, security, ecommerce, manufacturing, chemical, global trade and broadband companies. Strengths include positioning companies to maximize visibility among key stakeholders such as media, investors, channel partners and customers. Alison has a strong understanding of business objectives and she effectively translates this into results for her clients. In addition to her experience managing the demands on emerging companies, Alison is skilled in taking products from conception to roll-out, developing creative marketing plans, generating media coverage along the entire product lifecycle and leading brand awareness campaigns during critical growth stages.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Uncovering My Authentic Self: Step One Discard the Grandma Kickers

  1. Pingback: The Babysitter Affair – Shit Hits the Garage | Pig Pen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s