The Sisterhood of the All-You-Can-Eat Shit Sandwich

This was a full circle of life weekend and I was surrounded by friends and family I have not seen in a while. From a funeral to a baby shower, hearing about or remembering the past and present of family drama is a reminder that life can be a shit sandwich.

shit sandwich

I am the youngest of five, and have three sisters and a brother. My dad is the oldest in his family and has five sisters. Needless to say, I have a lot of cousins. With the amount of people in my immediate and distant family, you can imagine the smorgasbord of shit sandwiches.

I have so many positive memories though. Huge parties to celebrate milestones, holidays and random events. The special treats at everyone’s houses, from Kool-aid, fluffernutters, hilarious pets, to rope swings and fun adventures in the backyard and on the farms. It is important to me to keep the ties with family as they are the rare group that have known me through every stage of my life. It is grounding, humbling and a true gift of peace and comfort.

When I was really little, there were some low moments but all simple in nature. This included being locked outside naked as well as in the freezer, made fun of (Lipsoons – I can explain in person), tormented with the ‘drool test’ and Caesar torture (another one that should only be heard live).


The teenage years got tougher and my family along with everyone else endured adversity that impacted relationships. Adulthood inevitably brings bigger problems and unfortunately, keeps some relatives living as strangers.

The original five Burns’ sisters are not a quiet group and the four of us are no different. Big people, big presence and don’t forget the big hair.

2013-03-20 19.40.52

My sisters and I are lucky to have each other and are the closest of friends. If you are around one of us, chances are others are nearby. This is fondly known as a sister sandwich!

Like any close friendships though, at one point or another each of us were responsible for delivering a shit sandwich or it gets really bad and it elevates to a shit storm.

Just like the movie, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, where four best girlfriends hatch a plan to stay connected with one another as their lives start off in different directions through a pair of secondhand jeans, I thought I could do this with my leather pants.

I wore them to an event on Saturday night and I was excited to start the rotation. That dream was shattered when the pants split down the entire backside. Thankfully, it was the end of the night.


So even if the epicurean delight being served up is less than desirable or you eat so much you split your pants; it’s life.  My $.02 is to digest it, properly dispose and move on!

About alisonguzzio

A marketing and public relations veteran, Alison Guzzio has directed projects for a range of high-tech, pharmaceutical, security, ecommerce, manufacturing, chemical, global trade and broadband companies. Strengths include positioning companies to maximize visibility among key stakeholders such as media, investors, channel partners and customers. Alison has a strong understanding of business objectives and she effectively translates this into results for her clients. In addition to her experience managing the demands on emerging companies, Alison is skilled in taking products from conception to roll-out, developing creative marketing plans, generating media coverage along the entire product lifecycle and leading brand awareness campaigns during critical growth stages.
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2 Responses to The Sisterhood of the All-You-Can-Eat Shit Sandwich

  1. Pingback: The Babysitter Affair – Shit Hits the Garage | Pig Pen

  2. Pingback: AMPED Up: Whac-a-Mole Just Isn’t for Carnies | Pig Pen

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